It’s been several months since coming back from my summer escapades traveling through Asia. It’s been a blast freely going where I want, reconnecting with friends in foreign countries, and best of all, not having to deal with the stresses of the real world.
I’m in a completely place now. Back home in my city of San Francisco, working at a top tier management consulting firm for about 3.5 months. And I’ve definitely felt myself fall into a rut.
During my time in Shanghai, working as a summer camp counselor, I definitely felt myself more fulfilled. Sure, I earned less money doing what society considers a “lower tier” job compared to my current position. However, I worked roughly from 9-4 instructing and spending time with children, something I found very fulfilling. After work, I’d usually go out to explore the city. On the rare occasion, I would be tired and I’d have those homebody nights where I stayed in the dorm watching endless hours of Netflix.
Nevertheless, I was never bored. I always found myself mentally engaged with life and there I say it, having fun. It was the ideal life.
However, in my current job, I find myself staring at the computer screen, doing Excel, Powerpoint, and endless Google searches from 8am to 12am on the worst days. On the best days, I’d end up watching endless TV again, doing nothing of productive use. At nights and weekends, I occasionally go out with friends but when it comes down to it, I am again on Netflix, Facebook, Buzzfeed, or other time suck sites. Basically, I am sitting here, bored out of my mind.
Some might argue that life is what I make of it and that I should be pursuing other hobbies or other fun activities outside of work to make my life more fulfilling. However, the effects of being stuck in an unfulfilling career that nevertheless pays the bills and provides me with a roof over my head are spilling over into my life outside of work. I feel no motivation to actively do anything about because at times, I often feel the existential crisis of “What’s the point? I’m stuck in this boring job wasting away my youth like this?”
Here’s to trying to rouse up some dregs of motivation for living a more fulfilling life…